


Epic Spike Willy-Chan

by Disappointment69



Category: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - All Media Types, Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:54:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29039697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Disappointment69/pseuds/Disappointment69
Summary: Willy really wants to join the volleyball team
Relationships: Tendou Satori/Willy Wonka
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Epic Spike Willy-Chan

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack do not read I haven’t even watched Haikyuu

Willy was sitting at his desk overlooking the chocolate river. It was only the first day of school and he already had homework. Willy was lost in thought and barely paying attention to the papers sitting in front of him.

“MISTAH WONKA!” A shrill voice startled him out of his brief moment of dissociation. He turned around to find an Oompa Loompa named Gregorny standing in the doorway holding what looks like a police file. 

“greggy poo!!! what can i do for you?” Willy said in a voice as sweet as the candy he is known for making. Gregorny blushed at the nickname and seemed to enjoy it thoroughly as Willy usually just refers to him as Slave no. 69.

“I HAVE YOUR REPORT CARD SIR.” Gregorny handed Willy the police file that only contained a single sheet of paper. Every class had an F next to it except of course the chocolate making class which Willy got the best grade in.

“already???? but its only been a day,,,” Willy said looking scandalized by the abysmal report card before him.

“UNFORTUNATELY DUE TO YOUR SHIT GRADES, YOU’LL HAVE TO DO AN EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY IF YOU WANT TO STAY AT THE SCHOOL.” Willy wasn’t sure why Gregorny was yelling at him but decided to ignore it because this wasn’t about him.

“okie dokie slave no. 69, ill do………… bollieball!!!” Willy jumped out of his chair in triumph accidentally punching Gregorny in the face and knocking him right out. Instead of calling an ambulance Willy jumped in the river and let himself be sucked up and deposited in his chocolate bed that was actually made of children's bones. 

\-----------------------THE NEXT DAY-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Willy awoke early the next day excited to get to school and join the volleyball team. He ran past the still unconscious form of Gregorny and ate his breakfast of sugar cubes and ghost peppers. He then proceeded to brush his teeth for the usual hour and sixteen minutes before running out the door and sprinting directly to his school. 

Wolly Winka ran like the wind for he was speed and above all he was ready to show Karasuno High that he was not to be messed with.

When he finally arrived at his school, Willy ran directly to the Gym where the team captain and highschool heartthrob practiced his radical spikes. “daichi chan~~~” Willy called out with a small anime style bow. Daichi paused his epic practicing and turned to the source of the voice with a barely hidden grimace that could only be described as pure resignation.

“What Do You Want Wanka?” Daichi said, subtly looking for an escape. Willy began to look nervous and gazed down at his feet with a sudden shyness, “uhh,,,, its wonka,” Daichi just raised an eyebrow of indifference so Willy got to the point with another bow “please let me join the bollieball team!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

There was a stretch of silence that felt like it lasted an eternity with Willy still bowed and sweating slightly while Daichi looked at him like he just took a phat dump on his cat. 

“What The Frick Is Bollieball?” Now it was Willy’s turn to look confused and somewhat affronted by the idiotic question. “you know,,,, the game you like,,,,, play????” Willy explained slowly to Daichi like one would explain something to a five year old. 

A look a realisation flashed across Daichi’s face “You Mean Volleyball?” Willy still looked confused and Daichi rolled his eyes and pushed passed Willy stopping before he opened the door. “If You Want To Join The Team, At Least Learn How To Say It First.” And then he left Willy alone and dejected in the gym as the first bell rang.

When Willy got home from school he found Gregorny cleaning what appeared to be blood off the floor. “MISTAH WONKA! LOVELY TO SEE YOU, HOW WAS SCHOOL?” Gregorny yelled, his yelling was kind of annoying but Willy was too sad to get mad at him and instead sulked to his room and flopped on his cotton candy bed.

“SIR?” Gregorny enquired as softly as he could despite yelling every syllable. Gregorny slowly approached Willy and started rubbing circles into his back, his hands still covered in blood. 

“how do you say bollieball???” Gregorny paused his comforting for a moment at the weird question. “UUH.. DO YOU MEAN VOLLEYBALL, SIR?” Willy seemed to think about the response, silently sounding it out to himself.

This seemed to lift his mood and he jumped out of bed, once again punching Gregorny in the face, before running out the door. Realising it was night he did a 180 turn and dived back into bed hitting Gregorny as he was trying to stand and knocked him clean out. 

\-----------------------THE NEXT DAY-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Much like the day before Willey woke with a smile and sprinted to school at speeds unlike anything seen before. Everyone on the sidewalk burst into flames as he ran by at the speed of light. Willy should have joined the track team or something. 

Willy burst through the gymnasium doors and was once again met with Daichi who looked at Willy like he’d killed his mother and turned her corpse into sausages. There was another person this time, none other than Mr. Refreshing who just looked slightly concerned for his own safety. 

This time, instead of bowing, Willy groveled at Daichi’s feet with tears in his eyes as he loudly exclaimed “please let me join the volleyball team!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

There was a stunned silence. Daichi looked kind of horrified but Sugawara just looked even more concerned. Eventually Daichi got it together and responded the best he could “W-Why Should I?” It was clear he did not want Willy Wonka of all people to join the team.

There were even more tears in Willy’s ocean orb eyes and he grabbed onto Daichi’s shirt, still on his knees. “please!! ill do anything!!!!!!!” Willy was begging unabashedly and Sugawara looked like he wanted to run.

Daichi, however, looked thoughtful at this. “Anything?” He fixed his posture and stood in a way that made it look like he had a stick up his ass. “Kiss My Feet Then. And Call Me… ‘Oh Great One’!” 

Sugawara really looked like he wanted to run now and was slowly inching towards the nearest exit. Willy for some reason looked delighted and did exactly what was asked of him, “oh great one!! your greatness is ogrewhelming and it would be an honour if i could serve alongside you!!!!” 

Daichi regarded Willy thoughtfully before a pleased look graced his glorious face “Alright. Practice Starts Tomorrow. You’d Better Not Disappoint Me, Wanka.” With that Daichi walked out and to his first class of the day with Sugawara eagerly following.

Willy stood alone in the gymnasium stunned into silence at what he’d just heard. It was well into the third period when the news finally hit and Willy began jumping up and down celebrating. It was also then he noticed he was no longer alone and there was a first year class staring at him.

\-----------------------THE NEXT DAY-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Willy was practically vibrating with excitement when he walked though those beautiful doors into that beautiful gymnasium. The entirety of the volleyball team was there in all their glory staring at him like they knew some hilarious joke he didn’t.

Before Willy could even get a single word out Nishinoya threw something at him and it hit him square in the face. Willy looked at what hit his face and was instantly overcome with emotion. It was a cheap looking tshirt already falling apart at the seams with the word ‘WANKA’ and a big ‘69’ written on it in sharpie. It was the best gift he’d ever received.

“oh,,, you guys,,,,” Willy had tears in his eyes and went to hug Nishinoya who quickly dodged causing Willy to fall over. Everyone was looking on extremely confused and slightly disappointed their epic prank hadn’t done what they intended.

A loud whistle rang through the gym silencing everyone. Coach Ukai was standing there in all his glory, a whistle still hanging from his mouth. His eyes bore into Willy’s very soul and he would be scared if he weren’t already so overwhelmingly happy. 

“You!,” there was now a finger being pointed in Willy’s face, it smelt pretty good if you asked Willy, “If you SO much as BREATHE wrong, you're OFF the team. Got it?” Willy nodded resolutely and stood in line with the rest of the team, all of whom hadn’t stopped sending him some crazy side eye. 

Willy was just happy to be noticed by them.

Everyone was standing in a line with backs so straight it almost looked painful. Coach was pacing back and forth in front of them and looking at them with disgust, but mostly just Willy. 

“Okay maggots! We have a BIG game tomorrow AND we can't AFFORD TO lose!!” his voice was fluctuating really weird and he was emphasising all the wrong words, it was becoming hard for Willy to take him seriously. It kind of sounded like his voice was cracking very violently. He couldn't laugh at the coach, he’d be kicked off the team for sure. 

Soon there were people on the courts and Willy was exhilarated, he was only on the bench but that didn't deter Willy no sirree. The movements of the players on the court was hypnotising. The spikes, the sets, the digs, everything. Willy couldn't take his eyes off them.

“YOU!!” Coach Ukai’s fingers were back in Willy’s face and they still smelled great, “show ME what you GOT, MAGGOT!” Willy didn’t remember him being so much like a drill seargant but next thing he knew he was thrown onto the court and there was a ball flying at his face.

With lightning speed and even better accuracy, Willy spiked the ball. Everyone watched in shock, their eyes bulging from their faces, as Willy obliterated the opposing team. The silence was near deafening and Willy was feeling mildly uncomfortable but mostly, he just enjoyed being the center of attention.

The next day was the day of the epic style volleyball tournament. Willy was literally vibrating with excitement and everyone else was just keeping their distance for fear of their own safety.

They were versing Shiratorizawa Academy and when they walked through the doors to the gym. The side eye was honestly impressive on everyone's part. Then He walked in. Tendou was the hottest madlad this side of anywhere. With his spikey hair and weird eyes. He looked like a sexy hedgehog on crack. 

While Willy was busy drooling over Tendou, Daichi was cracking his knuckles in an attempt to assert dominance. It would have worked if his knuckles actually made any noise but it's the thought that counts.

When the game started Willy was sitting on the bench cheering everyone on, even the opposing team, but mostly just Tendou. “Hey! Idiot!” the coach approached and Willy pointed to himself, questioning, “YES you dumdum. Stop CHEERING for the other TEAM!!!” Willy blushed and nodded embarrassed that he'd been called out like that.

Willy sat in silence after that, enthralled by the game before him. Tendou subbed off and sat near Willy and suddenly the game itself wasn’t so interesting. 

“uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhh. h-hi tendou-san,” Willy said bashfully, half covering his face in an attempt to hide his blush.

Tendou just kind of stared at him with a tight smile that looked more like a grimace. “Uh, Hi.”

Before Willy could respond, a grating voice called out, “WANKA!! You’re on!” Willy, being the weirdo he is, just kind of stared in delighted shock. “Get out there before I CHANGE my MIND you snivelling MAGGOT.”

Quick as lightning on crack, Willy was in position and ready to dominate the competition. 

The ball was approaching like an angry bull right for Willy and just before it hit him straight in the balls, he did something nobody expected. 

Willy hit the ball with the speed of the previously mentioned crack lightning and the strength of Hulk Hogan also on crack and sent it flying over the net. “return to sender,” was all willy said and it was the most epic anime moment in anime sport history. There was even the cool glasses glare, though how Willy did that is a mystery considering he does not wear glasses. 

The entire gymnasium was silent and folks pogging left and right. 

Then there was cheering. The loudest you’ve ever heard the entire gymnasium was in hysterics and the opposing team was cowering in fear at the very sight of the man who ruined their whole career. 

“Epic Spike Willy-Chan!” Tendou cried out amongst all the chaos and Willy shed a single tear of joy at his legendary victory.

THE END


End file.
